i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
try to milk me bitch
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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