the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
