Where is the hickey?
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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