Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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