Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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