So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
