I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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