How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
