Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I'm passing your future prison.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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