And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
