before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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