A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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