Where are you?
In a non slutty way
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
