I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
