a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
