ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Randomize