I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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