I'm eating all of the evidence.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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