dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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