doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
