Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize