i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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