To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
