im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
