We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I intend to get homeless drunk
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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