but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
