One girl and one boy is just not enough.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
