Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
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