Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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