Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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