youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
