I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
