I can tuck mytits in my pants
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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