Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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