so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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