Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
i want to swaddle you in tequila
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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