she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
