guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
