Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
