I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
