Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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