you traded sex for a burrito?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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