So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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