those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
