A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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