dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
