I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize