i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
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