Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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