Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
