How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize