I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
