:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
sex in a hospital.. check
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Randomize
