if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
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