He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
