I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
